THE LIST or How my daughter really sees me

I had to share this list. I was just cleaning up messy corners in my house (as one does when one has nothing better to do) and that’s where I found this treasure of a list. My now 11yr old daughter must have written it 1-2 years back as I am not running the cafe anymore, but man, it had me chuckling. It is a list about me, Continue reading “THE LIST or How my daughter really sees me”

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Mother’s Garden – Mixed Media Project

I made this collage/mixed media painting for my mother a few years back. She is a garden freak and loves flowers, and besides our rather tough Mother-daughter story, I have much love for her.  Continue reading “Mother’s Garden – Mixed Media Project”

To Kill or Not to Kill? Adult Life Fact #2

Your parents are not responsible for making you happy 

The simplest task of a parent is to basically Not kill their kids, to say it dramatically, and with a wink, right? Their primary functions seem to include feeding and clothing their children, to keep them healthy and safe, so they can grow up into an adult without much physical damage. Then you say: what about the child’s Continue reading “To Kill or Not to Kill? Adult Life Fact #2”

Poem: He Sings Me Into Being

You want to know about my God? He can’t be known. He can’t be seen, Yet I am his music. His song lets my insides tremble.

My soft belly shakes and my breasts shiver in delight. My body flows and is moved by his rhythm. 

The world is dancing, drifting, as my eyes see foreign lands, realms of sound and touch, of speed and light. They are offered to me. I am its only queen. Continue reading “Poem: He Sings Me Into Being”

Disengage! Disengage! or How to deal with extreme Emotions and Learn from them

Ever raged in fury, fumed like a steam train and exploded? Ever cried uncontrollably for days and weeks and felt like the grief will swallow you like a hole? Sure, it is satisfying to vent and is feels like a relief to cry where there are deeply hurt feelings. I know all too well. Been there, done that.

However, after a while, if we do not move on, Continue reading “Disengage! Disengage! or How to deal with extreme Emotions and Learn from them”

Parable: The Face of Love

I overheard this conversation accidentally and since then I wasn’t the same anymore.

Maybe it wasn’t an accident after all, being at that hour in that garden.

I once walked in a spring garden, in the early morning hours, when the day is yet gray, hazy and undecided. The dew had wet my bare feet and hem, and even the birds were still too sleepy to greet me when I heard whispering. Continue reading “Parable: The Face of Love”

My Daughter’s Voice & Wings

So what is our legacy as mothers? What is the lesson that I learned after being a Mom for over 11 years?

A while back I was part of a class outing with the kids and all parents and we walked through Continue reading “My Daughter’s Voice & Wings”

Self-Love 101 #4 – How I learned to be Selfish

Give, give, give. Raised a good, obedient girl and devoted Christian I learned from a very young age on to give, to give up on my needs to devote myself to others. It was rather extreme to the degree where I had completely lost myself, exhausted and confused. Even I saw that Continue reading “Self-Love 101 #4 – How I learned to be Selfish”

How I love to grow beyond my trauma, and other legal drugs…

I like change, always have. I am weird that way, I guess, given that most people like things as they are, try to stay in their comfort zone hating change. Well, I am different. If my life doesn’t change every 1-2 years I am getting bored. And with bored I mean depressed.

I feel stuck and pinned down, get restless and gloomy. I usually feel empty and need to find a release, which explains my Continue reading “How I love to grow beyond my trauma, and other legal drugs…”