Is age that predictable? Is becoming complacent the new normal? I once was a backpacker for crying out loud, leaving one continent to travel to the other side of the world – staying there, marrying there, etc. And now booking a motel an hour driving away seems too much of a decision process?
What happened to me?
Ok, let’s see. I am forty, I have done a lot of crazy stuff, so maybe I won’t need to do them anymore? Really? What about FOREVER YOUNG?
And right, I am a mother and have responsibilities – so safety comes first. Hm hm.
And then there are my finances, which aren’t that fluid that I could always be as spontaneous as I want us to be.
Are these valid excuses? Because, and let’s be honest here, they are excuses…
Doing new stuff was once exciting, now I can’t be bothered. Am I depressed and don’t know about it? Or am I enlightened, and don’t know about that either? Maybe I am boring.
I am sure I am not alone with having a comfort zone, but it’s more than that. I feel like I do not need the excitement. Which is dumb because when I am excited about something, it feels good. Really good. I have fun. Like when we go on Adventure drives, and we don’t know if we make it back home (our GPS sucks). Or when we play XBox One Lara Croft….oh dang it. That’s not even leaving the house…
So, maybe I have to face it: I have become boring. I am complacent. Am I alone in this?
Sure, I would love to be cool and active and on the move and have adventures every week, but the reality is, life isn’t always like that. Having the expectation that life is always as if I am 20 years old, is silly. So what is the expectation of a 40-year-old with family?
I am not sure. Maybe we are more settled after all. But since I am criticising my state I might have to change something. I think I can turn this around somehow.
Recently, I had a weekend getaway because my daughter threatened to move out (she is 11yrs) if we didn’t do something, so we packed the car and drove off. We had a blast, went to two different national parks, swam in the ocean, played in pools, (had decent Wifi at the motel, what a bonus) and saw new places. Even some rare birds (Brolgas) flew next to our car in sync, which was like a miracle. Anyway, we had not a care in the world.
And yes, one needs money to do trips. A little bit of it at least. So our next idea was to camp. And I am not a big camper. Oh no. But maybe we can start camping in our backyard first. It will be new as we do have our beds after all in the house. And we should be doing new things, right?
What else is new when you’re forty? I thought hard and this is my list. I have never:
– bungee jumped (never mind that), – eaten sea urchin (never mind that either), – been drunk, or taken drugs (I don’t think I should start now with either).
But I have:
– sailed, – snorkelled, – travelled, – eaten weird stuff, – left my country, – studied, – joined a cult, – left a cult, – worked in many different places, – married and divorced, – had a kid (greatest adventure), – ran my own business, – ran a cafe and cooked, – wrote novels (still writing more, that’s the one thing I really do enjoy), – had lovers, long term relationships and one night stands (not worth mentioning actually), – organised events and weddings,
– been to concerts, – laughed so hard I cried, – cried so hard I laughed, – been heartbroken, – I loved, – moved into nature, – etc…
Well, if I think about it, it’s my judgment if I am boring. I can’t take my daughter as a measurement with her being entertained or happy, or bored and restless. She is entertained by watching guava juice on youtube for heaven’s sake.
Hm, I guess I have done most of the things I wanted to do. Now it’s more the little things that are interesting and make me happy, like raising a teenager and staying sane, or staying clean when eating chocolate ice cream (or spaghetti bolognese – why am I always wearing white when eating it?). Or to do the occasional weekend trip into the unknown (in a two-hour driving radius).
I don’t have to climb the Chinese wall to be cool, and I don’t have to see Antarctica to feel accomplished. I do not need millions to be an adventurer, and I certainly do not need to eat sea urchin.
I am me and doing new things is exciting, but I do not have to do them every day nor do I need to extend my crazy bucket list. I am forty, no one pressures me anymore :-D. I do what I want, and I want to play Lara Croft…