Self-Love 101 #4 – How I learned to be Selfish

Give, give, give. Raised a good, obedient girl and devoted Christian I learned from a very young age on to give, to give up on my needs to devote myself to others. It was rather extreme to the degree where I had completely lost myself, exhausted and confused. Even I saw that this kind of giving wasn’t healthy.

Healthy selfishness is one of the best things I ever came across on my own healing journey.

What have I learned on that journey?

– I am the authority on how I feel loved

– I am the best person to take care of myself

Self-love is equally important to the happiness of others

– Fill my cup first, or how to take care of myself first, so I have everything I need to listen to and help others

– Saying ‘no’ is more loving than saying ‘yes’ and not meaning it.

Setting boundaries – so very valuable because it taught me what I think about myself and what worth I give myself

– Letting go of friends who try to dominate me is choosing ‘me’ and healthy

– Letting go of family if it attempts to hold me back or keep me small is a step to self-empowerment

– Sometimes Self-love is words, sometimes actions and sometimes inducing an emotional state with myself. It’s fluid and takes a while to get to know.

– Never give up. The inner call to worthiness and being in charge of it is all we need to make it – don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

You’re worth it, so allow yourself to be selfish. And remember, always be kind to yourself!


Hey, thanks for contacting me. I will get back to you as soon as I can. Have a lovely day, Jolene

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