‘I am happy to go.’ When I express this openly, people stare at me as if I come from a different planet (which I probably do, haha).
I reckon it is not the ‘average’ attitude to ask ‘When can I leave?’ without actually being suicidal. Not at all.
It is true, though. What I would like to share with you is why I am not afraid to die. Not that there’s a current threat. Not at all. I am healthy – well, healthy enough to not die on the spot. Also, I am safe. And I am a happy person, which in my world keeps me safe (law of attraction). I am not suicidal, and a rather good driver. I have shelter and enough food, and no enemies that I know of that would hate me enough to wish me me ill (or want me dead)… Ha! That’s going a bit extreme, eh?
Well, I simply try to rule out all thoughts and possibilities of accidental or intentional reasons for me to die- so I can make my point here.
I did however come close to the threshold of course. Several times in my life in fact; pre-birth, in the first few months of my life, and just again two years ago, twice actually in a matter of weeks. But somehow my soul seems to be deeply rooted in this form of existence and so I am still here. For now.
And even though I came several times close to dying, with death having a real opportunity to snatch me up, all these experiences didn’t really contribute to my attitude as to why I ‘think’ I am not afraid to die.
Sure, if you held a gun at my temple, my heartbeat would go through the roof and I would be scared shitless. If there was no food for my family and myself I would panic. When I had an almost fatal car accident I was freaked out and cried in shock. Why? Because it is ingrained into our physical instincts to survive. The body has its own intelligence and will do whatever it takes to survive. So I am aware of that and on that level, sure, you could argue I do not want to die. My body doesn’t want to die.
The claim I am making and what seems to distinguish me from some people, is that I am not scared to fall over the edge, into the void and find out what’s over there. I don’t know much, but what I do know is that I am consciousness, and not this body. The ‘I’ in me is eternal, my thoughts are but a small focused part of the vast eternal ‘me’. I am not interested in semantics of ‘I, me and myself’. I am interested in the expansion into the fuller me. In freedom.
For a long time, and that had to do with my traumatic upbringing and my lack of inner peace about being ‘me’ here, in this body, on this planet. I often was even jealous of others dying, or having a terminal illness. They were officially allowed to go. They were leaving, had a way out, while I was still here. Doomed to my prison called a body…
Sounds awful, right? Sounds kind of sick or twisted. But really, as soon as I had the thought, it also left me again. I was not suicidal. I simply wished to have it easier, I guess. To leave the complexity, the intensity of earth behind and go to ‘everywhere’.
But hey, I’m still here, and even though I thought I knew all the answers to the afterlife, recently they have been sort of washed away – again – and I am still not afraid. I am not afraid, because I do not believe in hell or suffering (certainly not of more than I have already been through, or what earth is going through atm).
I do not believe necessarily in the concept of a heaven either. I simply believe in a universal love and consciousness as divine intention and an overall plan (however that might look and express itself). In benevolence and someone knowing more than me…All this can mean just about anything. It’s vague. And the older I am getting the vaguer it seems to become. No comfort there, I am afraid, in case you wished for clarity.
Clarity I think comes from accepting that we truly can’t know anything. Which maybe means we know everything there is to know already? Well, I have absolutely no answers. I just know what’s NOT coming… LOL.
I am absolutely certain that after death and leaving this avatar or shell, it’s going to be better. Easier. More interesting. Far more interesting. Something in me and all the fantasy books I am writing draws from these places. The places beyond. From the myriads of universes and existences, wisdom and levels of consciousness and freedom that I can’t fathom, yet can hear their call. And it sounds exciting that call.
So, I am certainly not afraid of that. I can’t wait.
I can’t wait to be with the ‘all’ of me, to reunite with all my lost memories that I lost by coming here to earth, to see if the earth is indeed flat or a planet, hehehe. To see if there’s an end to our mental slavery and our limitations. If they’re only physical or drag on beyond death (a real question of mine). It can’t be worse than ‘this’.
I can’t wait to ‘see’ again, to figure things out that are simply to complex for our little human brain, as large its potential is.
I can’t wait to be not bound by a body, to have my current limits completely blown away to experience freedom as my reality, my truth, my normality.
I can’t wait. I think it is going to be awesome.
Source: Why I am not afraid to die